Davia Sedaris has a policy. He won’t sign your book until he learns a little about you. He interviews everyone and writes a personal inscription on each book. His book signing lines move slowly.

They move so slowly, in fact, that several years ago, when Helen and Zoe went to a David Sedaris book signing Zoe ran out of time and had to leave her book with Helen to get it signed.

When Helen finally got to the front, David asked her “What was your first love?”

She told him about her first high school sweetheart, Cai.

She went on to complain about how after they broke up none of us could get over it, because we all loved Cai even more than she did.

So, he signed her book

Then she gave him Zoe’s book to sign. He asked “and this Zoe — was she a part of this?”

The next day, when Zoe opened her book, she found this inscription:

Enough about Cai.

— David Sedaris