Years ago, I got embroiled in a debate regarding the value of the Golden Rule.

My philosophical sparring partner said the rule invited superficial abuse. We run the risk of doing to or for others what we would want, instead of what they would want.

My argument is that application of the Golden Rule itself is also subject to the Golden Rule. Would you have another apply the Golden Rule superficially to impose their preferences upon you? No? Then how would you have the Golden Rule applied? Do that.

Now let’s say that even this meta-application of the Golden Rule results in something unwanted by the recipient of our well-intentioned act. Now what? Apply the Golden Rule again. Perhaps we would have them learn what we want (or even if we want something done) before doing something to or for us? Maybe we would have them ask us about it, or even ask for our explicit permission.

But even here, preferences vary. For example, if I were to ask my wife permission before kissing her, she would have refused every time, each time with intensified disgust. But she did want me to be attuned to her and not just barge in whenever I got an impulse. The Golden Rule required me to learn to read the waters over an alien and mysterious psyche, and, further — crucially — that I maintain respect precisely for this mysteriousness. Trying to explicate the mystery meant instant ick. Ok! I got to work learning how to intuitively navigate this incomprehensible terrain, because I have my own weird ways, too, and I wish to have them respected as a condition of deepened intimacy.

How many recursions of the Golden Rule was involved in this last example?

As many recursions as intervals of space traversed by Achilles in Zeno’s thought experiment.

Achille infinite traversals are an artifact of the framing of Zeno’s problem, not individual acts of traversal. Only by confusing cognition with being does motion seem impossible, despite motion.

Ultimately, the Golden Rule, understood radically, points to a reality that cognition renders impossible.

We intuit that transcendent being — being who transcends intelligibility.

Some of this transcendent reality lives in the people around us.

And some of what we have decided to honor as Transcendence is the most immanent thing of all, the graven images of our own intelligible imagination!

Mystical experiences, inspiring ideas, answered prayers — they are all so easy compared to the infuriating arbitrariness of a spouse, friend, neighbor or enemy.

“What resists is real.” — Bruno Latour