Below are some truly terrible etymetaphysics granddad jokes. If puns make you groan, these will ruin your day.

I object to the idea that absolute truth is objective.

I refuse to be subjected to this unacceptable and arbitrary constraint!

I am vexed by the unconscious prejudice  that knowledge is a system of defined convex entities locally and causally connected with one another, like words in a sentence, or parts in a machine.

I will not cave on this point!