I need to get something off my chest: You are right, and were right all along. You tried and tried to tell me, but I would not listen. But I get it now, and I am sorry.

I feel like I owe you an explanation. I am not trying to justify myself. I already told you: I admit I was completely wrong. Not just factually, but morally. And practically, too.

But if you are willing to listen I would like to explain what happened, so you can understand why I was so stubborn prior to finding the the courage to repent.

Without excusing myself, of course, I see it as rooted in the human condition. Every single person on this earth cannot help but believe that he or she has privileged access to the truth. I was no exception.

Of course, there are always open questions and knowledge gaps. And much (even most) of what is known is known tacitly, intuitively, in a way that defies language. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t known. It really did look to me like I knew. I literally could not see how I didn’t know.

But I sure could see how other people didn’t know! That’s part of this semi-tacit comprehensive knowledge we all think we have. We all think we see plainly how those around us who do not or will not know the truth — people who are dumb, misguided, self-interested, complacent, corrupt or just too arrogant to listen — evade the truth by doing everything they can to avoid confronting reality squarely. They disregard real things as imaginary and reify imaginary things and treat them as real. They argue by their own self-serving, distorted or over-complicated logic, if they even bother with logic at all. They rest their whole argument on deeply questionable premises and spurious sources. They behave as if highly subjective and partial criteria are objective and universally binding.

We’ve all had to deal with this kind of nonsense in our lives. But I always thought I was on the right side of these conflicts. On the contrary (and just as you always said!) I was the wrong side. Until I shifted my perspective on it I was utterly unaware of what I was doing. I guess it was because I trusted my own eyes and ears and mind more than the testimony of people whose eyes and ears and minds perceived more clearly, and who knew to trust what truly deserves trust, maybe?

No excuses. I refused to listen.

Anyway, I hope hearing me say it out loud helps you feel better. You were not crazy. You were right. I hope you can accept my apology.