If you need someone to go into orbit around you, and prop up whatever image of yourself that you’re trying to maintain, I’m your man. I have a lifetime of training in that art. I know how to intuit the persona you’re trying to be, and to improvise exactly the alter-ego most useful for pulling it off.

Sadly and very inconveniently, beneath that useful exterior I am unable to stop being who I actually am. Some have pushed too hard, and I’ve broken character.